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This is my attempt to share some of my thoughts on “kissing dating goodbye” and “courtship” practices. If nothing else I hope to encourage people to think about the concept and decide for themselves what is most important for them in their situation.Note: Much of my criticism of the “kissing dating goodbye” approach is from the perspective of a single person in his 20’s and 30’s who was involved in churches where this approach was the norm."I gave the impression that there was one formula that you could follow, and if you followed that, you'd be happily married, God would bless you, and you'd have a great sex life and marriage." He added, "Obviously, the real world doesn't work that way." However, the 42-year-old pastor and author said what he regrets most is the fact that he transferred the fear inside of him to his writing. "Fear of messing up, fear of getting your heart broken, fear of hurting somebody else, fear of sex." Harris, who went on to serve as senior pastor of Covenant Life Church for several years, said he finally understood the problems in his book after he stopped being the pastor of a large church and went to graduate school."I stopped having to be constantly right about everything," he said.More than 800,000 copies later, I Kissed Dating Goodbye, with its inspiring call to sincere love, real purity, and purposeful singleness, remains the benchmark for books on Christian dating. Joshua Harris’s first book, written when he was only 21, turned the Christian singles scene upside down…and people are still talking.Now, for the first time since its release, the national #1 bestseller has been expanded with new content and updated for new readers. More than 800,000 copies later, I Kissed Dating Goodbye, with its inspiring call to sincere love, real purity, and purposeful singleness, remains the benchmark for books on Christian dating.Harris said that while there are some good ideas in "I Kissed Dating Goodbye" -- like the fact that "you don't have to be in a dating relationship to be a whole person" -- his eyes have been opened over the past few years to "see some fundamental problems" he included in the book."I didn't leave room for the idea that dating could be a healthy way of learning what you're looking for in a long-term relationship, that it could be a part of growing personally," he said.
Now a husband and father of three, Harris takes a second look at some of his earlier assumptions and considers how he would say things differently if given the opportunity.
Honest and practical, it challenges cultural assumptions about relationships and provides solid, biblical alternatives to society’s norm.
Clear, stylish typeset, with user-friendly links to referenced Scripture.
"Twenty years ago I wrote a best-selling book about dating that I'm now realizing misguided and even hurt some people.
I'm hoping that my experience of listening to my critics and reevaluating my conclusions will inspire others to see that progress and growth always involves the humbling process of admitting mistakes." Harris wrote "I Kissed Dating Goodbye" when he was 20 years old, had been homeschooled his entire life, and had not yet been in a dating relationship.“Kissing dating goodbye” appears to be reactionary and going to one extreme. ” and Courtship/Groups Are People Still Kissing Dating Goodbye?